tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize