yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
