Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
