We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
