the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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