you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
