i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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