theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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