So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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