I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize