I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
