so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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