I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize