you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
