ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
