I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i barfeds in our rink
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
