WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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