Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize