There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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