We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
