***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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