You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
