Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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