im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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