I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
