I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm both gender and math confused
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
