her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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