ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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