The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
