She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize