We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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