Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
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Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up