I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap