i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize