White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
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I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.