only if we run a train.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
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I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?