last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
