Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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