You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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