There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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