I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
