What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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