There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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