It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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