Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
