Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is Oprah even human
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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