Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
