That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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