He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
