You're so nebulous sometimes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
