he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
