Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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