I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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