I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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