Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
