Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it glows. i had to have it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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