okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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