That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
