u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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