Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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