So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He has the fingertips of a God
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