Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I love having hate sex.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
