Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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