; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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